WAKE, PRAY, TRANSFER DAY!

A week passed and I got my period, it was late on a Friday that it came so Saturday waseec689e9b99be095829f01438e5224d6--ivf-quotes-ivf-clinic classed as day 1, I called the clinic and the nurses told me that it would be fine to wait until Monday to go and get my Lexegon script and start them day 3-7.  These tablets gave me headaches, body aches, hot flushes and night sweats I stopped these on the Friday and still felt average for about four days after.  On day 11 I went in for a scan my womb was still quite tender and not 100% recovered from surgery.  I was given urine tests to do over the weekend to show when I ovulated and on the Saturday it looked like one was positive so I went for bloods that saame day and then for more bloods again on the Monday just to make sure.  The bloods were not 100% clear so I went back again on Wednesday for one more test and they called in the afternoon to confirm to come back for a scan on Friday and then hopefully do the embryo transfer on Saturday.  I went into the clinic on the Friday (27 November) knowing in my mind that if my bloods were a bit all over the place something wasn’t quite right.  Irena scanned me and the lining was still very thin, they confirmed I hadn’t actually ovulated.  I was absolutely guttered, I honesty thought that after everything my body had been through over the past four weeks that we were getting somewhere and that even if this transfer didn’t work at least we got to that stage.  But this time it just wasn’t meant to be…. I felt heartbroken.

brooke-shields-the-difficulty-of-ivf-or-of-any-quote-on-storemypic-a22d1I kept composed whilst in with Irena and listened as she explained the next process to me but inside I was breaking down, my biggest worry was we wouldn’t get another cycle in before Christmas.  I voiced my concerns and she put me on Primolut straight away to bring on my period within the next week, then once my period starts I would take the Progynova which will allow them to put the eggs back in without me actually ovulating.  Like usual I tried to stay calm while I was in the clinic but by the time I got to the car I was sobbing and poor Jus had to listen to me, a blubbering mess on the other end of the phone.  He is my rock and the one that calms me down when I am an emotional wreck, he tells me “we knew this wasn’t going to be an easy road but we have to stay positive and remember that we will have a baby when it is meant to happen.”

I went back to work and as if I couldn’t feel any worse right now a nurse from St Helens called to say she had been extra efficient and sent out my paperwork prematurely for my transfer tomorrow, she was sorry and told me when I receive it in the mail I could just tear it up…. Thank you I really wanted to be reminded that I am NOT having my transfer this cycle.  And then just to top it all off I saw a post on the Tas IVF facebook page that there were proposed changes to IVF funding and that out of pocket costs are looking to be increased by 40-50% thankfully this did not happen but a financial worry so many of us going through this process could not deal with.  As if people don’t struggle enough and it isn’t a bit enough financial and emotional stress on families.  As we all know infertility is not a choice and those who need IVF treatment have no control over this condition and it is unfair to ask us to pay more. wpid-2015-01-30-10-45-49

Moving forward it is now the 18th of December, typically your period should come two days after you finish the tablets and mine being irregular as usual came five days after, so I called the nurses and they said I would be really pushing it to get a embryo transfer in before Christmas, but as long as I knew that and happy to proceed they would do everything in their power to try and make it work.  I spent the next week on Progynova three times a day before going in for my scan.  Irena was so excited to see that my lining was thick enough to proceed and then she gave a “Oh No… You have a follicle I think you may have ovulated by yourself.”  I thought to myself seriously body you never ovulate by yourself and now you do, so she sent me for urgent bloods but reassuring me that even if I had ovulated there was still a small chance that they may be able to sneak the transfer in.  So that afternoon I start the endometrin tablets three times a day and still continued with the progynova until the following week.  Transfer day was planned for Wednesday the 23rd of December, maybe we might be give a Christmas miracle!

So I was given an “old wives tale” by a friend that has been throuimagesD7F2OKFEgh IVF, she had been told this and wanted to pass it onto me and hopefully it would help.  So she told me to do the following:

“It’s important that on the morning of transfer you and your partner are intimate, this is the first stage at getting your body ready for a pregnancy, the endorphins that are released during arousal helps the uterus contract. Arrange to have your first of two half an hour massage, this first one is before your transfer, at this appointment focus on just your shoulders, neck and scalp, this is just to help release any tension and to clear your mind and relax your body. While you having your massage have only positive thoughts (only use a fragrant free oil) After transfer arrange for your second half an hour massage, this time focusing on the palms of your hands, legs and the soles of your feet, these are pressure points that will also help relax your body. In your mind concentrate on your little embryo making its journey to your uterus to imbed itself as it gets ready to grow.”

I thought well I have nothing to lose so may as well give it a shot, if nothing else I have had a relaxing day for myself.  So after my first massage Jus met me at the clinic and we met Irena and went in for our first embryo transfer.  There I was legs up in the air, I possibly have no dignity left after all of this but what the hell… It felt similar to having a pap smear and after some poking and prodding she found my uterus.  The lab doctor showed us our embryo on the screen which was amazing and a little emotional, whilstPrint Irena slid the embryo into my body we got to see it happen (as I had the ultrasound on my stomach).  A bright light was around the uterus when the embryo made it there, this really was an incredible experience and as hard as this whole journey had been it was moments like that which really are special.  It was all over in about 20 minutes and we left the clinic with Irena’s words of “You are now pregnant so stay that way, relax and look after yourself and I will see you in a few weeks”

Now to wait…. was I pregnant or not?

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