Whether you are a working mum, you travel for work, your enjoying a night away with some girlfriends or just treating yourself to a relaxing massage tell me that you didn’t have that moment (or many moments) of feeling guilty… It’s what we call
This is absolutely a real thing and something as mums we constantly feel and experience. I recently put up a post about how much I struggle at times with travelling for work. The build up to going away even for a night is hard and even though I know my husband and family are more than capable I spend the night before I leave packing multiple bags, getting clothes ready, making lunch boxes and that’s before I even get around to packing my own bag. Even though I have an incredibly supportive family I also hate the feeling of putting others out, the pick ups, the drop offs and everything in between.
But tell me this… Why do we feel this way??? Is it pressure from society or just those motherly feelings and instincts?
To be honest I don’t know the answer but what I do know is that each and every one of us put pressure on ourselves when we have to take time away from our families for work or pleasure.
I am lucky that I have flexibility from my workplace, to be able to work in the office and from home but even then, when I am busy working at home and have to sit Noah in front of a movie for an hour or so, that mum guilt kicks in. I try my best to work of a night once he goes to bed (if I need to) or when he is napping during the day so that it frees up my days at home with him and so that he is my main focus but let’s be honest sometimes of a night once bedtime is done we just want to sit down, relax, maybe have a glass of wine and just cheers ourselves that we made it through another day of mum life. We want to be able to give our children the best upbringing possible, to be present and available 24/7 and to give them the best opportunities in life. To do that both my husband and I have to work! In saying that we both enjoy our careers and enjoy the balance of work and family life even when it is exhausting.
As I write this I am currently sitting on a plane, returning from my last work trip for 2018 and by the time I get home tonight Noah will be tucked up in bed asleep but I feel blessed I will still get to kiss his little head and say goodnight. I can hardly believe another year has just about passed us by… As I sit here and reflect on how I juggled so many work trips and mum life I also give myself and my family a virtual high five and say “Yes, we did it.” My work trips have definitely changed, pre mum life it would be nothing for me to take a few extra days after my meetings to enjoy some me time and to take full advantage of travelling. Now I try to make my trips as short as possible to enable me to do drop off with Noah and be home as quickly as possible. Some trips due to the distance flown does mean a couple of nights away which are usually the hardest and when I feel the most guilty but I try to remember this is my job, he is one of the main reasons my husband and I work so hard and hopefully showing him a strong work ethic and you can achieve anything if you set your mind to it. Anyway I have gone off topic but one thing I have learnt to enjoy and not feel guilty about is when I travel I get a big comfy bed all to myself and I get a full night sleep and let me tell you I have learnt to enjoy and appreciate it.
This leads me onto the importance of self-care, this has been popping up on my newsfeed of late and it’s something I’ve been thinking more and more about… Mums need some “Me Time” whether you are a stay at home mama, working mama or a bit of both if you don’t take some time to look after yourself you will end up burning out and no one wants to see that. Self Care and “Me Time” can be a number of things… It may be going to get a massage, facial, mani or pedi, a coffee or cocktails with your girlfriends, going to the gym, a movie or even a weekend away whatever your outlet is do something for you, it is not selfish because let’s be honest we deserve it.
There are so many other things that as mums we feel guilty about on a daily babsis and what I have written here is a very small part of mum guilt, we let society tell us what is good for our children when you should just listen to your gut and heart but that is a whole other blog for me to right about…
Now I would love to hear from some mama’s out there and get your feedback. It can be to tell me that you feel mum guilt, how you deal with it or something positive that you chose to do for yourself.
And let’s try and ditch the mum guilt people because…